Balancing, clearing, transmuting and moving through the energies of Scotland have been intense. Although initially I felt the energy of the city we landed in and made home (Edinburgh) was fairly weightless and perhaps too familiar. It was just a few days of walking countless kilometers (as we literally stopped counting after our first day was 9 kms and the next day was 16 kms) that I started to feel it. In my body. Nearing the end of our days as regular 'tourists' the pain in my body was getting to be unmanageable. I could feel my lower back had locked up on one side and this would mean the sciatica pain had me crying at the Stirling Castle and another day just before arriving at the Roslyn Chapel. Like a domino set off the rest of my mid back and neck with pain and stiffness. My backpack although a loaded purse, was becoming increasingly like a 100 pound sac of cobble stoned bricks and I was really resenting that feeling. I was in Scotland! How can you stay back to rest? I really needed some down time to be off my feet as all of my muscles, joints and bones were screaming at me "Are you insane"? Do you not love us anymore??? The process I was going through was like doing the Iron Man yet having only trained for a half marathon! I was in shape...yes. As I am an avid ridiculous motorcycle enthusiast I had ridden the Valley and mountainous region a lot this spring/summer I thought I was good.
So I reverently decided to not go out by the 9th day. I was done. I needed to just BE. I required processing. Like a software upgrade, it seemed as though there wasn't sufficient time before the next major energetic upload was happening, and thus the energetic 'pile up' of harmonizing and aligning myself with my damn mission was totally bringing me to exhaustion. ' Houston we have a problem...I'M DONE!'
I didn't want to stay behind while my divine colleagues went out exploring the unique 'time traveling' excursions yet I was down right concerned to keep pushing my body physically and energetically so fucking hard. This shi(F)t is hard work. I pushed. I went out despite how I felt. I walked very damn slow. I medicated with Tylenol and Ibprophen and a beer where I could. I stopped. I cried in pain. I was held and loved and supported, as I continue to be. I am post- travel almost a week now. I cold turkey'd the pain meds upon returning home as that had started a nasty rebounding migraine. The exhaustion coupled with jet lag and insomnia is wearing on my nervous system.
Although I could do without the pain so I can jump back 'into my life'....I realize that this forces me to stay quiet and go within. Process. Transmute. Heal. Clear. Upgrade. Write. As a Libra I also automatically analyze my process. Checking in on all levels - why is the pain present? What do I require myself to look into? What is going on within the etheric and myself? What emotionally is going on that I have to deal with or haven't dealt with? Some of this is mechanical I reason. Yet I ask myself and my highest self...have I done my due diligence and turned over every rock on my path? How or is this process of mine relevant to the big picture? Is this a reflection of what humanity is dealing with? So many other questions enter my periphery. So much is happening on the planet right now. "And breath. Relax....This will be all transmuted and better very soon...You're not alone...All is well." I know the answer to every damn question I pose to myself. There is work to do of my own. I'm owning it. I will process and get into my genius zone. This is what I do. This requires diligent work and organic and authentic self examination with no judgement. Zero point. Being open and vulnerable to all that you are in the tangible avatar and as equally important the ultimate soul growth which is why most of us creatures on this planet are looking to achieve, is easy - just get past EGO first.
That's what I'm getting.... so....Oh and it's called 'Work'. I'd insert an 'lol' here....if I could. Shushh your mind L.
Travel is my 'work'. Humanity is 'My Business'. So I am extra gentle with myself these days. Extra compassionate. I am doing all the self care I can think of and 'manage' at this time. Sea salt baths, crystal work, daydreaming, smudging, writing, meditating, hypnosis, Reiki and connecting with my heart, my highest incorruptible self and my Goddess sisters.
I love my work - even if it's like recovering from a marathon gone sideways.
I'm so grateful to have had this ridiculously amazing experience Scotland - the good, the bad and The Spectacular.